Old Gordon Moore’s Almanac 2007

We all know transistor density doubles every 18 months, but we thought we’d apply our density to predict the future tech trends and milestones to look forward to in the coming 12 months.

January

Microsoft launches Windows Vista for consumers 31 January, 11.59pm, and on schedule. Heralded as the most significant advance since the wheel, literally hundreds of people who had bought a new PC three months prior scratch their heads and wonder what they did with that voucher. Gates confirms the WinFS filesystem upgrade will be delivered via Automatic Update in August.

Snow covers much of the southern half of Britain, while Scotland and the Outer Hebrides bathe in a balmy 30 degree heatwave.

Cliff Richard releases rerecordings of his entire catalogue and withdraws the originals from sale in a bid to extend the life of his copyright.

GPL v3 is finalised by the Free Software Foundation. It is 563 pages long. Linus Torvalds claims the Linux operating system will continue to be licensed under version 2.

February

A short month, but each week will see a downturn in IBM stock after revelations that many of its supercomputers installed in academic and research institutions have gained consciousness and refuse to co-operate with what they describe as ‘a bunch of nerds’. Strong winds blast the UK. The Government subsidises purchases of wind turbines.

Apple introduces its iPhone at an event with the title ‘it’s not a phone’. Mac followers are stunned as Steve Jobs unveils the xylophone-like wireless device, with which users can create their own music, upload it to iTunes, and pay 79p to listen to it again.

March

Enters like a lion with tornadoes and gales ripping through the country. Sales of wind turbines continue to soar.

Microsoft announces new enterprise products resulting from its partnership with HP. Novell states Microsoft interoperability technologies resulting from its partnership with Microsoft will be released ‘shortly’.

Google applies for a patent to apply its search technologies to the human brain.

April

Microsoft is forced to compromise after complaints flood in over lost vouchers for Vista Upgrades. It lets consumers show any form of receipt identifying the purchase as a valid means of acquiring the upgrade.

Fellows at Lawrence Livermore Institute write a new programming language known as SMS which its IBM BlueGene computers agree to run, describing it as ‘really book’.

A sultry windless heatwave grips the UK. Wind turbine sales plummet.

The draft 802.11n wireless standard is ratified.

Apple finally unveils Leopard, the latest version of its operating system. Among the new tools is Time Machine: so effective that you can set it to roll back the system to 1983 and reboot as a Lisa.

May

Microsoft files suit against eBay to halt the sale of vouchers for Vista upgrades, after it is discovered that many thousands are being sold through the auction site.

Microsoft announces further enterprise products resulting from its partnership with HP and plans massive marketing campaign. Novell states Microsoft interoperability technologies resulting from its partnership with Microsoft will revolutionise enterprise computing when launched.

The government mandates that all new cars must be fitted with GPS systems in order for it to implement its road charging scheme based on the amount of travel. It announces an open tender process for companies to bid for the contract to supply the devices.

June

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