Patent application takes new dimension

It’s in the water. Our ability to walk through walls and doors, of course.

A patent application recently published at the USPTO details a training method for helping people gain enough hyperspace energy to walk through walls. This is achieved through the use of vortices of energy which is only possible because of the high percentage of water making up the human body.

Patent application 20060014125 does involve the use of a computer: it crunches weight, shoe length and stride data to print out a series of footsteps that the subject must follow each second in order to achieve sufficient hyperspace energy.

Prior art? You bet. The application points out that a ‘a humble black Catholic Dominican friar of the Santo Rosario Convent, by the name of San Martin de Porres, living in Peru in the 1500’s, also developed this ability to walk through doors’.

Speculative. Well, it would be unfair to describe the scope of the patent as anything other than broad: ‘In summary, the purpose of the training system is to substantially increase the energy of a human being who will then have the capability of walking through walls, body levitation, instantaneous healing of infections, full-body teleportation to another location, remote viewing at vast distances in terms of light-years, and looking into hyperspace co-dimensions.’

You want more? Once you’ve built up the energy, hyperlink yourself to the USPTO website

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